The child is afraid of pens. Why can a baby be afraid of their own hands? How to help the baby

Having been born, a newborn baby enters a completely different world from the familiar and comfortable intrauterine environment. In this new and unknown space, he knows nothing, and only instincts endowed with nature help him to survive.

Growing up occurs in several stages, which are summarized by the acquisition of specific skills and abilities. Although, as you know, they are very conditional, since each child develops individually. In view of the fragile muscular system, the movements of the arms and legs of the baby are unconscious and chaotic.

Quite often, parents can observe how the child is frightened by the sudden movements of his hands, he can wake up from this, cry, sometimes startle not only at night, but also during the day.

Why is the child afraid of his own hands?

Those moments when the baby spreads his arms to the sides, as if frightened by them, causes ambiguous emotions in parents. Someone is touched by such behavior, but it simply frightens someone and is an occasion to think whether everything is in order with the baby.

In fact, the child simply does not yet understand that these are his hands when they flash in front of his face or touch his body. In the same way, he can be frightened of them during sleep.

These symptoms are quite common in infants before they reach 6 months of age.

Of all the natural reflexes, only the suckling one is fully formed at the time of birth, therefore, apart from his mouth, he does not know other parts of the body and will get to know them gradually and in stages.

Is it dangerous for children?

As a legacy of intrauterine life, after birth, a newborn child has sharp, chaotic and uncoordinated movements of the legs and arms, which he is frightened of and may even cry about this. In pediatrics, these movements are called "throwing up". However, the differences between these movements and intrauterine still exist. So, inside the mother's belly, the baby touched the walls of the uterus with every movement of the arms or legs. Here, in a new environment for him, with such movements, they find absolutely no support, which is very frightening and alarming. However, as soon as the baby clings to the warm body of his mother, he immediately calms down.

In addition, too free movements of the handles can be fraught with various kinds of injuries. So, for example, a child can hit himself with a pen on other parts of the body or scratch the delicate skin with nails (about caring for the nails of a baby).

What to do so that the child is not afraid of his hands?

To prevent the child from injuring himself by throwing himself up, parents need to ensure that the nails are always trimmed to the required length, and their edges are carefully filed. Today, special anti-scratches are also sold that cover the baby's hands along with the fingers. You can buy them both separately and in a set with other children's clothing.

Recently, it is generally accepted that most pediatricians and child psychologists advise not to swaddle a child so as not to inhibit the development of his sense of touch. But, most likely, the opinion of psychologists in this case is interpreted incorrectly. Most specialists in our time are also not inclined to see "violence" and "coercion" in swaddling. Let's try to turn to the cultural experience of different peoples and imagine what a newborn feels?

Skin sensitivity occurs in a child as early as the third month of intrauterine development. The baby swims freely in the amniotic fluid and develops a sense of touch, bumping into the walls of the uterus. And by the fourth month, with the advent of coordinated movements, he begins to suck his finger or fist. From the 32nd week of intrauterine development, the uterus surrounding the baby is constantly in contact with different parts of his body. Periodic contractions of the walls of the uterus create a feeling of tight hugs, and this remains in the memory of the baby as an important part of a happy life in the stomach. In the last weeks before childbirth, the child, as a rule, is already limited in the shoulder joints - the arms are tightly pressed to the body due to tightness. The child also gets used to this position. At this time, he feels mainly his own body, receiving tactile information from the entire surface of the skin that the uterus hugs.

"After birth, the child finds himself in an unusually huge free space. However, he still retains his intrauterine "habits." One of them is sharp uncoordinated movements of the arms and legs, the so-called "throwing up."

If you watch a newborn, you can see that he experiences panic at every movement of his limbs and calms down if he is pressed against the warm body of an adult, or at least hold his dangling arms or legs. During the "throw-ups" the child is frightened, because his arms and legs, accustomed to rest against the walls of the uterus, do not find any support.
If the baby's limbs are left free, and their movements are not limited by a tight diaper, then he will "throw up", experiencing fright. This is a very strong reaction that drowns out all others. Including just the development of touch is disturbed! And for it to develop successfully, it is necessary that the hands and feet of the child constantly bump into different surfaces. Stimuli are absolutely everything that a baby can touch: a diaper, clothes, an adult body, his own body, etc. The more diverse the stimuli and the more often they affect the baby, the more actively his sense of touch develops.

What is useful for developing the sense of touch?

• Wearing on hand. When a mother carries her baby in her arms or sleeps with him, she does not allow him to "throw up" and creates the familiar feeling of hugging. Next to her, the child sleeps peacefully without a diaper. Mom's body generates enough heat, so the child's arms and legs can be left naked. So he will come into contact with various surfaces, perceive information, and comfortable conditions will help to calmly assimilate it. It is still customary among many primitive peoples to carry a child in their arms 24 hours a day. For this purpose, they create various devices: holders, bandages. At the same time, separate cradles and hammocks for babies are not provided at all.
• Free swaddling. When a child is forced to be without a mother, for example, during sleep, the best way to develop the sense of touch is a regular diaper. As soon as a newborn is swaddled, giving him an intrauterine position, he immediately calms down. But it is important to swaddle a child so that he can move his arms and legs.
  It is useful for a child to bump his arms and legs not only on the diaper, but also on his own body. Therefore, it is better to leave as little clothing as possible under the diaper. The diaper itself, clasping the baby, stimulates the sense of touch of all the skin that comes into contact with it. Its main purpose is to create the illusion of support, but to limit movements only in the shoulder joints, as in the uterus. A loose swaddled baby can pull his arms up to his face, find his mouth, suck his thumb or fist, dangle his legs. By 10-30 days, the child gets used to his hands and manages them more confidently. From this time on, babies stop waking themselves up with sudden movements. Babies who keep "ups" up to 3-6 months need longer swaddling.

The diaper was invented by those peoples who were not allowed to carry the child on themselves during daily work due to the cool climate. In their cultures, there are necessarily separate places for children: cradles, cradles. They follow the shape of the diaper, and they can usually be pumped. Then it seems to the baby that he is still in the arms of an adult.

"A swaddled baby often protests when they put him on a hard, huge bed instead of a comfortable, cozy swaying" nest. Parents often consider this a protest against the diaper.

In addition, noticing that the child has pulled the handle out of the diaper and sucks on his thumb, the modern mother often swaddles him more tightly. Meanwhile, in this case, the child, if he is already more than seven days old, should be allowed to enjoy the benefits of free swaddling.

What is not good for developing the sense of touch?

• Undershirt with sewn-in handles. From the world, a child in such clothes receives only one stimulus: the feeling of an undershirt. If the baby is in his mother's arms, he is without special protection won't scratch your face. Without a mother, any erratic movement of the handles will frighten him, so it’s better to just swaddle them. When the baby stops being afraid of his hands, he stops scratching. Therefore, the need for such undershirts is greatly exaggerated.
• Tight swaddling. In the countryside, tight twining of the baby was used to nurse debilitated premature babies. Today, only a few specialists master the technique of tight twisting. But most often, "tight" is simply a tighter swaddling with the child's arms and legs straightened. This is how children were swaddled in Russian maternity hospitals and nurseries 20-30 years ago. Such swaddling protects against “tossing up”, but, of course, does not stimulate the development of touch in any way. The number of sensory stimuli and responses is minimal. Moreover, the thoughtless use of tight swaddling slows down the development of basic hand movements, and the child gets used to his hands only by 6 months and can even wake himself up with sudden movements even at 7-8 months.
• Complete lack of swaddling. If the newborn is without a mother and without a diaper, then the number of sensory stimuli again decreases. The child flounders helplessly in a vast space, terrified. Children who are kept without a diaper at all and are left to lie down for a long time, waving their arms and legs, subsequently adapt much more slowly to their hands than those who were introduced to them gradually. A kid dressed in a suit or overalls cannot touch his body with his palms - a warm, familiar and most developing stimulus.
• Pants put on too early. You need to stop swaddling when the child stops "throw up" in a dream. The skin of the feet for a child is the same source of information as the skin of the hands. Therefore, a baby who has "grown" out of diapers should not be immediately put on sliders. Appropriate clothing at this age is a shirt and nothing else, in extreme cases, a diaper. For children, whom mothers wear a lot on themselves, such clothes are simple and natural, because this way the child does not overheat and it is easy to change clothes. If parents refuse swaddling too early, they have to warmly dress a freezing child, and often by the age of three months he is dressed at home much warmer than his previously swaddled peer.

Of course, in socks and bodysuits, the baby looks prettier than in diapers. However, neither folk experience nor modern research on the physiological characteristics and psychological needs of the child should be discounted.

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Nine months in the mother's stomach, the child is in a state of weightlessness. Having been born, he does not yet know anything about his body. Weak muscles are in a kind of tone and cannot yet fully serve the crumbs. In the first months after birth, the movements of the child are unconscious and chaotic. The limbs do not seem to belong to him, so parents during this period may notice that the newborn is afraid of his hands. Sudden touches with handles to the body, scratching frighten the child. He shudders, wakes up and cries.

Infants are initially aware of only the mouth as part of their body, since the sucking reflex is present in the prenatal state and is already fully formed by the birth of the child. The development of other parts of the body occurs gradually.

After birth, the hands of children are clenched into fists almost all the time and relax only in a dream. And although there is an unconditioned grasping reflex, until about 2-3 months the child does not control his own hands. Until this age, the grasping movements of the baby are reflexive, the child grabs what touches the palm or is close to it (Robinson's reflex). This explains the presence of uncoordinated actions by the baby: pinching, grabbing, scratching, which frighten the child so much.

How to help the baby?

During the day, when the child is awake, he is not often afraid of hands, this is due to the fact that the baby inadvertently scratches himself and then cries from pain. Therefore, it is necessary to ensure that the nails are cut short, and wear anti-scratches. It is more convenient when they are attached to the sleeves. Separate anti-scratches are removed by many kids.

During sleep, sudden waving and grabbing really scare the baby. In order for him not to be afraid of his hands, the newborn is swaddled.

Modern pediatricians advise "free" swaddling, which preserves the natural position of the limbs and the possibility of movement.

The "tight" swaddling that was used in the past can hinder the development of motor, tactile and other skills of the baby.

"Free" swaddling contributes to a faster acquaintance of the newborn with his hands. Therefore, swaddle with handles is not worth it. longer than the first months, and in the future, up to three months, swaddle only the legs. After 3 months, there is no point in swaddling, since from this age the unconditioned grasping reflex begins to fade and voluntary grasping begins to form.

Often in advice for new parents you can read that swaddling a child inhibits the development of his sense of touch. Moreover, they assure that this is the opinion of pediatricians and child psychologists, and it is psychologists who advise not to swaddle a child. It is very doubtful for us, as caregivers, that a competent psychologist does not know the physiology and developmental psychology of the child and could be so mistaken. Most likely, these are incorrectly interpreted recommendations of a psychologist. The constant description of swaddling as a procedure of violence against a person, a kind of “binding” of a child who wants to move so much, is also surprising! It seems that the child is already running, and everyone is swaddling and swaddling him ... Only people who have absolutely no idea what a newborn looks like, how he behaves and why he needs a diaper, as well as when and which nations have it applied.

As early as 3 months of fetal development, the child develops a sense of touch, that is, skin sensitivity. By the fourth month, he has coordinated movements, and the baby can find his mouth by touch and begins to suck his finger or fist. While the weight of the child is not very large, he swims freely in the amniotic fluid and sometimes bumps his arms or legs against the walls of the uterus, thus stimulating his skin sensitivity and developing his sense of touch. By the 32nd week of intrauterine development, the child can no longer move freely, the surrounding uterus is constantly in contact with many parts of the body, as if hugging him. Periodic contractions of the uterine walls (so-called Braxton-Higgs contractions) give him the experience of stronger bodily impressions, tight hugs, which become an integral part of the memories of intrauterine comfort. In the last weeks of intrauterine development, the child's arms most often cease to bend and unbend at the shoulder joint due to lack of free space - they are tightly pressed to the body and this condition becomes another intrauterine habit. The baby's palms can only touch their own body and mouth, so the baby receives basic tactile information from the entire surface of the skin that the uterus hugs and stimulates.

After birth, the child finds himself in a huge free space for him, which is many times larger than that to which he is accustomed. As long as he has no other experience, he retains his intrauterine habits and is guided by them. The specifics of newborns are sharp uncoordinated motor acts of hands and feet, which are a legacy of intrauterine life. These specific movements are called "throw-ups". During the “throw-ups”, the child experiences a feeling of panic and horror if his arms and legs, accustomed to rest against the walls of the uterus, hang in the air and do not find any support. This is very clearly seen if you watch a newborn. He is very frightened at every movement of his arms and legs and calms down if he is pressed against the warm body of an adult, or at least hold the dangling arms or legs with his hand.

After birth, the development of a newborn's sense of touch occurs due to the accumulation and differentiation of information that he receives from outside. Just as in the womb, the stimuli for the baby are touches on the entire surface of his body and, especially, on his arms and legs. Stimuli for the development of a child’s sense of touch are absolutely everything that he can touch: a diaper, clothes, an adult’s body, his own body, etc. The more diverse the stimuli and the more often they affect the baby, the more actively his sense of touch develops. If the baby's limbs are left free and their movements are not limited by the close hugs of the mother or the diaper, then he will “throw up”, experiencing fright. A strong fright and subsequent panic is a strong reaction that drowns out all others. Therefore, in the presence of unrestricted freedom and frequent “throw-ups”, the development of touch slows down significantly.

Thus, in order for a child to successfully develop a sense of touch, it is necessary that the child’s arms and legs constantly bump into different surfaces that are close to his body, while he has not yet had time to “jump up” and get scared.

Which of the modern methods of keeping and handling the baby contributes to this:

Carrying on the hands

When a mother carries her baby in her arms or sleeps with him, she creates familiar bodily sensations with her hugs. Next to the mother and in her arms, the child sleeps calmly without a diaper, because, hugging the child, she prevents the “tossing up”. Warmed by the warmth of the mother, the child does not need in large numbers clothes, and may be with bare arms and legs. This allows, by touching various surfaces, to receive maximum information in a comfortable situation.

This is how many primitive peoples treat babies, who still retain various devices for constantly carrying a child on themselves (various holders, slings, etc.). However, it should be noted that these peoples usually do not have any devices at all where the child would be placed separately from the mother (such as cradles, hammocks, etc.), so the child is in her arms 24 hours a day, which modern parents are hardly able to do.

Free swaddling

If a child is forced to be without a mother for some time, especially during sleep, then in the best possible way to protect him from “throw-ups” and stimulate the development of touch is an ordinary diaper. As soon as a newborn is swaddled, giving him an intrauterine position, he immediately calms down. In this case, we are not talking about tight, but about free swaddling, allowing the child to make movements with his arms and legs.

The less clothes under the diaper, the better the sense of touch develops, because the child bumps with his arms and legs not only on the diaper, but also on his own body. In addition, the diaper wraps around the baby and stimulates the sense of touch of all the skin that comes into contact with it. The number of sensory stimuli in the diaper is no less than in the mother's arms, because the diaper is in different places it heats up in different ways, it is stretched somewhere, it lends itself somewhere, etc. its main purpose is to create the illusion of support, but not to hamper natural movements, limiting them only in the area of ​​​​the shoulder joints (as it was in the uterus). A loosely swaddled baby has the ability to pull his hands up to his face, find his mouth, as he did in utero, suck his finger or fist, dangle his legs, etc. Gradually, the child gets used to his hands and coordinates their movements more confidently. This happens by about 10-30 days, and from that time on, babies stop waking themselves up with sudden movements. However, some children keep "throw-ups" up to 3-6 months of age and need more prolonged swaddling.

At one time, the diaper was invented and used by peoples living in areas with a temperate and colder climate, where temperature conditions and an abundance of clothing did not allow the child to be worn all the time during normal daily work. Simultaneously with the presence of a diaper, such peoples necessarily had some special places where a swaddled baby was put aside (such as a cradle, a cradle, a hammock, etc.), repeating the shape of a diaper, which, as a rule, could still be rocked to create a complete illusion the fact that the child continues to be in the arms of an adult.

Modern parents, who often do not know how to swaddle freely, or consider swaddling "under the arms" to be free, do not see the advantages in swaddling at all, because they do not know how to use it. Clumsily, with difficulty swaddling her "resisting" child, a minute later, the mother sees that she pulled her hand out of the diaper and sucks her thumb. Instead of leaving things as they are and letting the baby enjoy the benefits of free swaddling, she swaddles him persistently, making sure he can't get his hands out. And she is unaware, poor thing, that this is how a child should do if he is already more than 7 days old. And of course, if a swaddled baby instead of a comfortable cozy swaying "nest" is placed on a hard huge bed, he will protest. And the parents take the absolutely fair protest of the child to their failures in swaddling and perceive it as a protest against the diaper. So who is uncomfortable with the diaper, the child or his stupid parents?

What will not contribute to the development of touch?

Undershirt with sewn-in handles

Of the many tactile stimuli, such an undershirt gives only one - the feeling of an undershirt - everywhere the same rag, and its shape does not change, it does not go anywhere with the intensification and weakening of movements - that is, no variety!

Such undershirts were supposedly invented so that the baby would not scratch his face during erratic movements with his hands. However, if the baby is in the mother's arms, then he will not scratch anything, even if he is completely without a vest. If the baby lies without a mother, then any erratic movement of the arms will frighten him, and he will not lie like that for a long time, the movements of the hands will wake up the baby and his sleep will be restless. Therefore, in this case, it is better to swaddle your hands - then he will definitely not scratch anything for himself. When the baby ceases to be afraid of his hands, he stops scratching ... Therefore, the need to use such vests is greatly exaggerated, and it can only be justified in the children's ward of a medical institution.

tight swaddling
Now, even in families that observe traditions, among urban residents, you are unlikely to meet a woman who knows how to tightly swaddle a child using a swaddle. In the village, tight twining of a child was used to nurse weakened premature babies injured during childbirth, that is, as a kind of medical procedure. Only a specialist who owns this method, is able to assess the appropriateness and timeliness of such a measure and is able to teach this to parents can correctly use tight twisting in modern urban conditions. But in the process of forgetting the meaning of the tight twining of a child, the impression was that all the children in the village were barbarically tightly swaddled. Now, most often, "tight" is understood simply as a tighter swaddling with the arms and legs of the child straightened. This is how children were swaddled in Russian maternity hospitals and nurseries 20-30 years ago. Of course, such swaddling contributes to a more calm behavior during the “tossing up”, but it also provokes more violent reactions in the waking child. Of course, such an appeal does not stimulate the development of touch in any way. The number of sensory stimuli is minimal here, the responses to them are even less, and the advice of “competent” grandmothers “so that the legs are even” or “so that you sleep more calmly” cannot serve as an excuse for such violence. Moreover, the thoughtless use of tight swaddling slows down the development of basic hand movements, the child gets used to his hands only by 6 months and can wake himself up with sudden movements even at 7-8 months.

Complete lack of swaddling

If a newborn baby is without a mother and without a diaper, then the number of sensory stimuli again decreases. The child flounders helplessly in a huge space for him, experiencing panic and horror, and even touching his body, does not have time to adequately respond, because, as we remember, the state of panic is the most powerful reaction that drowns out all the others. Since there are no reactions to sensory stimuli, information is not accumulated, the development of touch is inhibited! It has been observed that children who are kept completely without a diaper and left to lie down for a long time, waving their arms and legs, subsequently adapt to their hands much more slowly than those who were introduced to the handles gradually. The child becomes more restless, it is more difficult for him to fall asleep, and when he falls asleep he easily wakes himself up with his hands.

Due to the imperfection of the thermoregulation of the baby, leaving him to lie without diapers, parents are forced to put on him various suits, panties, which again impoverishes the child's ability to touch, because only the palms remain free, and the warm body - the most familiar and developing stimulus, they just they practically cannot touch - everything is hidden in numerous clothes.

Thus, for the best development of touch in a newborn, it would be reasonable to combine two mutually complementary techniques - all the time that the child is in the arms of a mother or another adult, he can be minimally dressed, because he is warmed by the warmth of the human body and receives a maximum of sensory stimuli; and when the baby is laid off, he must be swaddled loosely, and be able to receive the same stimuli under the protection of the diaper.

The age to stop swaddling each child is different, some safely say goodbye to the diaper at 3 weeks, others at 6 months. The criterion for the duration of swaddling may be the presence or absence of "tossing". If the child rises up - he still needs a diaper for sleep, he sleeps calmly - there is no need.

A baby who has parted with a diaper in time usually already has the confidence and coordination of movements, which allows him to respond differently to various sensory stimuli. Moreover, the skin of the legs for him is the same source of information as the skin of the hands. The main condition for the continuation of the development of touch at this stage is the absence of clothes on the legs, in other words, the absence of pants and sliders. The legs of the child should receive information about the environment, as well as the hands. However, for normal development, it is important to receive this information on the entire surface of the skin, and not be limited to a small area of ​​the sole. The child retains the ability to receive information with the whole skin for a long time, therefore, the more we cover the surface of the skin, the more we impoverish its ability to perceive numerous sensory stimuli.

Suitable clothes for a baby of this age are a blouse, a shirt and nothing more. For those mothers who do not know how to do otherwise, take care of their furniture or carpeting, a diaper is also needed. For children, whom mothers wear a lot on themselves, such clothes are simple and natural, because this way the child does not overheat and it is easy to change clothes. Children are left to themselves for very short periods of time, during which they do not have time to freeze even in winter, and after that they easily restore their warmth, clinging to the body of an adult. But mothers, who are accustomed to regularly and for a long time to put off waking children, practically come to the need to put pants on them - so, they say, it’s warmer and more aesthetic, and even socks on each leg, otherwise they freeze!

If parents refuse swaddling too early, they quickly begin to abuse sliders and socks, because the child is still too small to be completely naked all the time, he freezes. Subsequently, parents are already so accustomed to watching “to keep the legs warm” that a child who has not been swaddled, as a rule, at the age of 3 months, is dressed at home much warmer during wakefulness than his previously swaddled peer. Reducing the number of external stimuli, hindering the formation of appropriate reactions, preventing the accumulation of information useful and necessary for its development, parents are often sincerely sure that they obey the wishes of the child and do not violate his freedom in any way!

A paradoxical picture emerges. Great idea - let's raise a child without violence and give him maximum incentives for development. However, by realizing this idea, adults directly transfer their own feelings and experiences to the inner world of the child, not taking into account either his physiological characteristics or his psychological needs. They consider a diaper to be violence, and pants, socks, diapers and a little helpless man lying alone on a huge bed - a manifestation of individual freedom. Whose freedom are they fighting for here? Parents, under the guise of caring for the child, seek to quickly get rid of unaesthetic diapers, quickly put on fashionable pants and suits. Maybe we will not be so quick to discount either folk experience or modern research and take care of the real needs of the child.

Psychologist-perinatologist, i.е. child development consultant
Mayorskaya Maria Borisovna